It's a wicked life,but what the hell....

Am beginning to think that I am going through a "filling the well" period in my life.Mostly listening to music and reading and catching up with people.The rest of my time I spend working or sleeping.I have been waking up absurdly early for some reason,though I am still going to bed late as hell.I am settling into the fun part of sleep deprivation.The two week mark where you start feeling really optimistic,and giddy most of the time.You start to feel creative again.

A recent event is making me examine one of my prime motivations.Curiosity.I let a certain,rather dubious,character from my past get in touch me via an unnamed social networking venue.Curiosity got the best of me.I had to see how he had turned out after a decade of ignoring him.Now he's offering to give me footrubs and to bake me cookies if I will see him. Here's the kicker.He's moved into a condo a few blocks from where I am living.He was a HUGE mistake the first time around.I fell into bed with him,though it seemed he was queer as a three dollar bill.I couldn't resist a boy that I could put in a rubber dress and put Marlene Dietrich makeup (he has lovely cheekbones) It was like having sex with a woman,but with outdoor plumbing.I think that the affair went on so long because he didn't mind having sex in weird public places ( I was a bit of an exhibitionist when I was younger) and I never had to give a blowjob when we had threesomes (which was often)

When I was done with him I passed him off to my friend Matt.You see,he finally pissed me off by fucking things up with someone that I had genuine chemistry with.By this point my marriage was in the crapper and my wife was hooked up with a man who was leaving his family.I had brought in Said Unsavory Character to make her jealous.(she liked boys pretty) We decided that he was my pet and dubbed him The Cat.One of our favorites was T.He was dating a friend of ours,but I guess we didn't care too much,since she had already cheated on T with me.(It was the late nineties,don't look at me like that.)T and I started sneaking time alone together.When The Cat found out,he squawked.Everyone got into trouble except me.My goodwill toward my Cat withered after that.Eventually I moved in with other boys and he became the "not-my-cat" and was threatened into leaving me alone(it involved a flight of stairs) I haven't dealt with him since.

I am thinking that forewarned is forarmed.It's good to know who is in your neighborhood.It affects things.I might be grocery shopping on the other side of town for a while,or I have to engineer "the super-secret emergency escape burka" alot sooner than I had planned.

til we become beauty,a fluid medium...

I had no idea how much I needed to hit my reset button.It had been ages since I watched the magic flow into and drain from a sunrise.it happens so quickly.I spent the evening with the ladies that I am closest to.The ones that I have known the longest,the ones that know me best.I cannot scare these women.It was a re-bonding between two of them.A rift healed.What went down between them had to run it's course,but I think we are all healthier for it.I cannot imagine how my life would have gone if I hadn't had these people in my life,changing my perceptions at times that were critical in making me who I am today.

I think that what I got from the events of the past 24 hours,was my sense of wonder.I lost it somewhere here lately,and I had to clean out my closet to find it again.It's something that I want to use all day everyday.It makes everything an adventure.

i'll be halway to somewhere as the day loses light...

o,the fall is progressing beautifully.I have been to several halloween parties in the last week and I am finally ready to kick back with a few people and enjoy All Souls Day with margaritas at "the happy mexican" downtown.I always want to sit by this ridiculous mural of a halfnaked mexican in a sombrero pouring tequila into a very happy-looking donkey's mouth.Some people find this disturbing,but I just consider it an attestment to the theraputic qualities of tequila.

Think I might cut back my nails and get out my guitar and play faux mariachi music on my roof til Happy Hour.