it's a one time thing,it just happens alot....

the last week or so has been equal parts social hurricane and fucking nightmare.There have also been a few moments when I recieved a shot of enlightenment.That is what the realizations felt like,a shot of really serious whiskey,in that it made me feel warm and like I was choking at the same time.One of these realizations was that I have not been paying attention at all.I have been running at top speed trying to cover so amny bases that I have been ignoring the one thing that has saved my ass more that all other things combined....my intuition. whuh....

So last wednesday morning,I was sitting at home and just chilling,waiting around for my client to show,so I could make some cash since I was seriously flat broke.Right before her appt time LL shows up at my place,she had to leave work because she was too high strung to deal with the children.She told her principle that she might start snatching up children,and she wanted to keep her job,so he set her loose.Then Boss shows up raging about the Shadow situation.Then my client shows up to get her hair done,and she's a shaking wreck because while she was waiting at the intersection by my house a branch fell on top of her car.

from there on it has been a mad house.I dealt with court for my poor car that won't pass inspection,Basically putting it off for a couple of months.I have found some people willing to haul my shit around next week.But Valentine's was nuts.I had to deal with one of my sisters getting very very upset about a man,and to avoid any funkiness,LL and I grabbed her from SSG and took her on a tour of the city that involved herbal goodness and 80's music.Then come to find out later on,sometime in the wee hours to morning,B,who is like family to me,got shot twice by some fucking lunatic neighbor of his.He's been in the ICU for days now,and I am terrible worried about him.He seems to be recovering,but it is a long road.I have all these people calling me and asking if I am alright,and I am all..I am not the one who got shot.crazy.

I do have to say that seeing him like that made me realize that my family that I have made means more to me than anything.It freaks me out that I could have lost one of them.

I am also realizing that there was NO hibernation over the winter.it was all go go go go from beginning to end really.I am just ready for spring to be here so that I can float for a while.The winter has been pretty hard,alot of work.I am hoping for an early spring.The tulip trees are already blooming,do they know something that I don't?????

a little something for carnival....

Cherise was brushing her long hair gently down
It was the afternoon of carnival as she brushes it gently down
Rubin was strumming his painted mandolin
It was inlaid with a pretty face in jade played in the carnival parade
Cherise was dressing as Pirouette in white
When a fatal vision gripped her tight
Cherise beware tonight
Rubin, Rubin tell me truly true I feel afraid and I don't know why I do,
Is there another girl for you?
If you could see my heart you would know it's true
There's none Cherise, except for you, except for you I'd swear to it on my very soul, If I lie, say I fall down cold
When Rubin played on his painted mandolin
The breeze would pause to listen in before going on its way again
Masquerade began when nightfall finally woke
Like waves against the bandstand, dancers broke to the painted mandolin
Looking out to the crowd who is standing there
Sweet Ruby Claire at Rubin stared, at Rubin stared
She was dressed as Pirouette in red
And her hair hung gently down
The crowd pressed round, Ruby stood as though alone
Rubin's song took on a different tone and he played it just for her
The song he played was the carnival parade
Each note cut a thread of Cherise's fate it cut through like a blade
Rubin was playing his painted mandolin
When Ruby froze and turned to stone for the strings played all alone
The voice of Cherise from the face of the mandolin
Singing Rubin, Rubin tell me true for I have no one
but you If you could see my heart you would know it true
There's none Cherise, except for you, except for you I'd swear to it on my very soul, If I lie, say I fall down cold
The truth of love an unsung song must tell
The course of love must follow blind without a look behind
Rubin walked the streets of New Orleans till dawn
Cherise so lightly in his arms and her hair hung gently down



I love this song...it makes me think of Mardi Gras season when I was a little girl.It seemed magical really.I loved sitting on my uncle's shoulders,catching every trinket that I could.Later on,the season was a pain in my ass,because I wasn't allowed to run the city unchecked,because there were too many people from out of town in the city,getting shitfaced and acting a fool.But when I was little it was amazing,and loud and bright and the brassbands were so roucous.I loved watching even the old folks dancing in the streets,waving their white hankies.There is nothing like it.

i've seen better days,but i don't care

this morning left me a little homicidal feeling.i actually get up early to go thru the inspection station downtown,the one closer to my house that my friend Deb insisted would be quicker....the bitch that was working my line wouldn't even inspect my car because she said it had "black smoke" she says "look,can't you see it?" and i am all "what the fuck are you talking about???" so yeah,not fucking pleased.at least on the 1st attempt,they went thru the whole rigamarole and then failed me.AND I HAVE DONE WORK ON THE CAR SINCE THEN!!!!fuckers.

soooooooo,it looks like I am gonna have to get all hoodoo on this shit.I am thinking St. Expedite, since I have to go to court over a ticket for out of date tags in under two weeks.He's got a great track record,and he's e-speedee.Gotta roll to the voodoo store in the am.

Sometimes I wonder if I am a bad person.Today after brunch,I went to visit my friend Rochelle,whom I don't really get to see all that often,though I love with all my black little heart. She is such a good friend that she warned me about the fact that my ex-wife is working in the restaurant where her boyfriend,Chachi, manages the kitchen.Needless to say,I don't get along with my ex-wife.she gave me many reasons to despise her and I finally snapped a few years ago and decided that I don't want to know her,so I moved and got rid of my landline # and told everyone not to give her my cell #.So I am told that she has become a world class alcoholic....as opposed to being just the raging alcoholic that she was when I decided to have nothing to do with her.

This is the part that makes me wonder if I am becoming a bad person. Apparently Rochelle was in the kitchen before we met up and she and Chachi were bantering back and forth,and my ex was standing nearby,so she makes sure to tell Chachi that she was going to hang out with me and he's all "good,be sure to give her a kiss from me",and about that time my ex just goes real still and stops what she is doing.WHY does that fill me with glee?does that make me a massive bitch?The fact that I love that my friends are willing to make such a display to make her aware of what she's lost....it makes me warm inside.This is not my warm and fuzzy side making an appearance,this is me being smug.Does this make me a bad person???

In other news,I am all super-excited about moving.Deb and I got Clark House,despite the fact that my landlord was totally dragging his feet and stalling,probably because I pay my rent on time and don't bother anyone.Unfortunately,I get bothered all the time by my weirdo neighbors, who have now come to be known at "the cowboy" and "shaft" by my friend Lelyn.He was chaining up his bike a few weeks ago,about to come upstairs to hang out,and they started interrogating him about why he was there.I am all for security,but honestly,I think that they are just nosy people who don't have lives of their own.Goddess bless the day that I finally get to leave shaft and the cowboy behind.

Also supremely happy that mercury went direct today!!!whoo!!!