when life hands you lemons,use them as ammunition

So,I am now trying to get everything caught up after the past few days.I had to deal with a bunch of family stuff.Turns out that my uncle died on the 9th,so that day is ever more bittersweet than before,and once again I was at a funeral on 9/11.It was a strange experience,seeing as I hadn't seen alot of my family in over a decade(I am not real tight with most of my extended family)One of them is my bitch aunt linda.She was all craning to see and staring at me during the graveside service and I got to see my mother (who is the sweetest and most gentle person) snatch off her shades just so she could give linda the stink eye.I did, however,reconnect with some members of my family that I do truly care about.I went out to my aunt Melody's house,I just wanted to cuddle her and make sure that she was alright.It was a rough night.

Then yesterday was cooper-young festival.It's one of the events in midtown that I would totally skip,but that is where I get this soap that I am totally addicted to....and their booth at cooper-young is the only place I can get it.Now you must understand that C-Y festival is the gathering place for everyone that you have ever had sex with,been roommates with at some point,or anyone that has ever stalked you to congregate and wait to walk past you in the crowd to strike up a conversation.I accidentally walked right up to a knot of insanity,because it was hidden behind this HUGE man that I just adore,but never get to sit and talk to.I just didn't see it coming.I walked up and got a hug from him,and lo and behold he was talking to this girl that I avoid like the plague.Truth be known,she is more like the plague than most people know.She was there with an old friend of mine whom I love,but avoid because things are just awkward because of some life choices that he has made.

Ms. Plague starts talking to me like we are the best of friends,and she alarms me terribly by telling me that she is moving into my neighborhood in three weeks(on my block,even).Needless to say,I am taken aback by this news.Meanwhile my friend that she is there with has draped himself over me and is whispering in my ear about how much he misses me and loves me.....and I am trying to keep my eyes as big as possible(to avoid giving the stink eye),keep nodding thoughtfully and act like there is noone kissing me on the neck in front of the girl that he came to the event with.All the while LL is trying to get me out of the situation with a minimum of fuss.

Eventually we disentangle ourselves from the insanity and take refuge in a slinky lingerie shop until we are ready to go back out into the crush again.After what seemed like an eternity of running into people that we didn't want to deal with,I found the soap stand.They were sold out of the soap I had come for.I was very near crushed.I settled for something similar,and we decided to make a run for it.I was stopped on the way out by a girl that I lived with a really really long time ago.Her favorite thing to say about me was that I was really nonchalant.I am not so fond of her,she is what the natives would call a gold digger.I am not down with the concept of women who are not willing to work for what they want if they think that they can use the lure of sex to get some man to give it to them.I consider them to be parasites.I was subtle,and managed to get away in under five minutes......after which we ran like hell.

To add to all this,I ended up having to go to a "jewelry party" afterwards.I am trying to be supportive of a friend of mine,though I don't really see using the tupperware party approach to sell jewelry as a very profitable passtime.Her "sponsor mom" made me feel a little homicidal.LL was there to take the sting out of it somewhat,but all in all,it was excruciating.I am never doing that again,it was almost as bad as having mary kay sprung on me at a sister circle a few months back.Guh.I don't tolerate "normals"very well.especially the ones who say anything about how a broach really dresses up a denim jacket.(vomits on floor)

So all in all I am in an upswing after the weekend.....I must be,since I am no longer having to make the big eyes-nodding face to disguise the seething.I am much better now.Here's to hoping that I can stay out of any stupid situations for at least 48 hours.