like an arrow,i was only passing through

September is a strange time,at times both ecstatic and heart wrenching.In eight days it will have been eight years since my brother died.I still miss him all the time.I was there when he died and I still feel like I was left behind.He was my other half.

I have never been close to my blood brother.He's nothing to me,but when i met Gabriel,I had found my twin.He went so far as to convince many people that we were related by blood.I have never had love in my life so pure.I haven't felt it since he died.It doesn't seem like it has really been that long.

I had been doing a good job of not thinking about it until B called me at 4:30am a few days ago.We talked for a few hours about so much that brought up many memories and I am processing them now.I think that he calls me when I have just gone to sleep because I don't have any filters then. We say everything and we are perfectly honest with each other while we watch the sunrise on two ends of a line.I guess it serves to let me know that we are both still here.B says that our ashes have to be scattered in the same place.Too much heavy shit going on right now.too bittersweet.I gotta go.