the reset button

I came to several odd realizations while I was home again.There are several situations that I have been involved with lately that, in all honesty, have nothing whatsoever to do with me.I don't know why in gods name I have been letting myself get dragged into them with shocking regularity.I guess it's to do with the rather erratic behavior of certain close friends,and my inability to recognize

the warning signs that would prompt extrication from the vicinity of said situations before things get ugly.It's been a fucking downer.

The realization is that I have to re-prioritize,to figure out what needs to be held at arms length for a while,and what bears closer examination.The season is changing and so am I. It was something I saw from the rooftop terrace of the hotel we stayed in.It was the tenth floor and I could see the river.Monday morning, as I was watching this blood red dawn climbing over the river, I realized who I am now is not who I was.I felt like a cicada climbing out of it's old shell. When I saw the new moon for the first time at sunset that evening, the world felt new, and unspeakably old at once. All I could do was feel the world turn for a moment and know it in the present so sharply and clearly.I felt every thing draw down to a point that I could only identify as illumination.I think it is something to do with being up so high in the air.I had been sitting with my feet in warm water up there,watching the sky wheel overhead, and having a heavy talk with a friend who knows my soul as well as I know his. I began to understand and see more clearly the nature of synchronicity and how many strange places that fate will take you. How you have to trust it, and continue to do what you are moved to do,to essentially be a catalyst.I realized that time can move with grace if you let it.